I Miss You
by Doccy Larsson Seraphim
Summary: A short one-shot based off my multi-chapter fic, The Darkness Within. Jay recalls the happiness and horror he has lived through, and everything seems to repeat itself, with foreboding words of the horrible things that will soon come haunting Jay's every waking moment. How can Jay keep himself going, even as he is drowned in darkness, and everything he loves is taken from him?


**A/N: Here's my Valentine's day special, although this is anything but romantic, and more of a massive gut-punch right in your feels. Jay has been through a lot currently, and from what we've been told, it only looks like things will get worse soon.**

**Here I thought I would try to image the meaning that Akiza is to Jay more clearly, to really explain just how much she matters for Jay, both body and mind, and how he's willing to risk everything for her, even if everyone says that he will fail, and he will only condemn everyone else along with himself if he tries.**

**He'll do it anyway, because Akiza is the last light left in Jay's life, before he is submerged completely into darkness and despair.**

**Now remember, this is a companion piece to "The Darkness Within", so a lot of things will likely leave questions for what this was and why this happened. This is just a one-shot, and is entirely within The Darkness Within's universe. Beware, implied sex and violence within, along with a deep sense of dread and general despair.**

**Now, just read the damn thing and cry.**

* * *

It was a nice, sunny day in Neo Domino city. The wind was blowing lightly, adding a little freshness to the heat that the sun brought with it. I woke up early before the sun rose, and I stood at the edge of the penthouse, watching the darkness slowly fade, to reveal the shining sun, as it rose from the horizon, and spread its eternal and godly light on Neo Domino.

It was a moving sight for me. For once, I felt like there was no darkness in Neo Domino, like it truly was the utopia that it was advertised as. Like it truly was the city where all could go and enjoy a good life, find a home, get married and start a family.

Family. It was a strange word to me. Family meant people who shared your blood, people who care deeply for you and love you all the same, no matter who you are and what you do. Of course I didn't have one. That would mean something went right for once, and until recently, it really hasn't.

Family. Did I really still have parents? A mother and a father, who were just waiting for me to come home, waiting for their child to come home to them? I didn't know, and it pained me. I didn't know, and I likely never would, I could have walked right past them on the street, and never even noticed.

Not that they would notice their son, anyway. I didn't really know who I used to be, but I knew enough to know that it was a far cry from what I am now. A monster, a pariah, an outcast. My pale skin, my heterochromatic eyes, I even had horns growing from my skull, damnit! I was even marked with a black criminal mark in my face, the mark that only those on death row get!

I am the manifestation of all those prejudices and fears the residents of Neo Domino had, hated and feared. I was a demon walking among the humans, and the humans weren't very keen on that. So of course they tried to get rid of me. Its only logical.

Then I thought I found my sanctuary, my one place to be in the Arcadia Movement, but even that turned sour fast. The leader who had brought me in, Sayer, turned out to be a madman, out on a quest for world domination, using people like me to get it. Psychics, outcasts, people who were born different for some reason, the people that the rest of Neo Domino's residents scorned and ruined.

But one good thing I did find there. There I found a diamond in the dirt, a diamond that shone brightly like a thousand suns that purged me clean of any melancholy and self-doubt.

I found Akiza.

The moment I saw her, I felt a shock going through my body and mind. It was a bodily reaction I didn't know or recognize at all, and it confused me greatly. I didn't know what was right and wrong anymore, my fingers twitched as I tried to make sense of it all, but even though I tried, I didn't realize the feeling I felt until it hit me in the face like a train.

It was love.

I felt love, adoration, affection, or whatever word you use to describe it. It doesn't matter how you describe it, but I know I felt it. I felt this longing to be with her, longing to look into her beautiful hazel eyes, listen to her angelic voice, and kiss her luscious lips.

I felt that for once, light had come to me in this world of darkness I was trapped inside. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest every time I saw her; for once my lips had a reason to curve upwards, to smile in the face of it all.

For once, whatever god that had given me all this pain and melancholy had given me a chance at happiness.

But of course that was not to last either.

When I came back from one of the tasks Sayer had given me, I saw him and her dining together, and she was smiling as she sat with that vile man. I cried then, cried that Akron had been right; I was not to have her. I was destined to watch from afar, silently wishing that she would be mine just for one moment.

Then it all got worse when she found out that I had been watching. She slapped me then. I did nothing; nothing but accept the pain, accept the punishment that I had been given for wishing for happiness. I did nothing but close my eyes and curse myself for my idiotic thoughts then.

I tried to hide my sadness, but it wouldn't go away. I felt like I was about to disappear, my stomach felt like someone had stabbed me with a large blade, then yanked it out again and thrust it inside once more. I cried that night, silently, but I cried.

By then, Sayer had noticed my growing dislike for the Movement, and my disloyalty to the Movement was a growing issue for him. Then came the discovery of a spy within the Movement, and Sayer saw his opportunity to discredit me in front of not only Akiza, but the rest of the Movement as well.

He knew full well that I couldn't kill Adam. My outburst gave him an excuse to use the shock collar, and then my fate was sealed. He chained me up in a cellar below the building, and then decided that a slow, torturous death was the most suitable. I was about to just let be and let him mangle and ruin my body before he ended my misery, but Sayer made one mistake.

I'm sure it seemed like a brilliant idea to him; he could always convince Akiza that it was necessary, or just make her think that it was all a dream; so why not give that final stab in the heart by hurting Akiza right in front of me?

But Sayer underestimated how strong I was. The anger of seeing her in pain was too much for my wounded and tired mind. And so anger flooded my mind, anger overcame everything. I was no longer Jay, but I was an avenging wrathful god of darkness, a dark being who knew only anger and grief, and those feelings overwhelmed all morality and self-control.

I killed Sayer without mercy or hesitation. That awful man had finally been put down, and I was free now. Free, but with nowhere to go. Of course, now I had the entire Movement willing to burn me at the stake and string me up by my intestines, but once again, I was saved.

I was saved by those I ended up knowing as my children. Leo and Luna saved me and Akiza from the ferocious claws of the Arcadia Movement's remnants, and took me and Akiza in. They nursed me back to health, and then helped me nurse the ill Akiza back to health as well.

But Akiza of course knew. She knew that I had taken Sayer from her; she knew that I had killed him in cold blood. It took a literal miracle, as well as help from a friendly Duel Spirit, to help her see the truth.

I honestly thought she would slap me again after I finished explaining. And I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if she did; who would want me?

Akiza answered that question for me. She didn't slap me, nor yell, scream or hurl insults.

Instead, she _kissed _me. It was out of the blue, it caught me completely off-guard, and yet it was the best thing I have ever experienced in all of my life that I can remember. Our tongues danced and we embraced for god knows how long. It felt like three years had just passed, and I had finally put everything behind me.

Leo and Luna ran up to us afterwards, and we all shared a big hug. I felt warmth and joy, I felt like I had found the place I belonged. I felt like I had what I had always wanted; I felt like I had a _**family.**_

I remember us dueling together on mats on the floor while we told stories and laughed together. We watched movies, we played games, we enjoyed ourselves greatly. We were like a family, and I felt like nothing bad would ever happen.

Akiza and I were like parents to Leo and Luna; we talked with them about their worries, we taught them new and interesting combos for dueling, we read them bedtime stories and kissed the two goodnight before Akiza and I went off to our rooms to sleep. She'd always kiss me before she went off to her room, and it was one of the highlights of my day, every day.

Then came the day where Akiza invited me to her bedroom. I was shocked at first, and quickly my vocal cords seemed to lock up, preventing me from doing anything but stutter. Both our faces became redder than tomatoes, but a deep breath later, we were back to thinking mostly-rationally.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I picked up Akiza like a husband would his bride, and carried her inside. I remember her saying that she was scared; I kissed her and replied that I was scared too. And so we decided to be scared together.

I remember waking up to Akiza stirring in my arms, as we lay in the bed in a tight embrace. I never slept that well before in my life I remember the sun's sharp, warming rays coming through the window as Akiza and I stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity before we both broke down and kissed again.

Akiza got up and decided to take a shower, while I decided to open the window to get some fresh air in. A nasty smell spread across the room as I turned around and saw a haunting figure on the chair across from me.

I saw myself, sitting in an aristocratic manner on the chair, his one hand raised and hear his face, while the other was on his lap. He was wearing bandages over his eyes, and a devilish smirk adorned his face. Insects began to scuttle around the room as the smell only got worse.

"Don't get used to this, Jay," He said. I recognized the voice as Akron. How did he… how, why? How could he possibly be there? I rushed out to the bathroom, but it was empty. Akiza wasn't there, taking a bath.

"You might be enjoying yourself now, Jay, but trust me, soon it'll all come crashing down upon you." Akron said forebodingly, and visions assaulted my mind and sight. I saw blood, many dead people, widespread destruction, dead bodies stacked on top of each other to form a literal pyramid of death.

And on top of it, I saw something that wrenched tears out of my eyes. Akiza, dead, her eyes frozen in an expression of horror and fear. I could still see tears rolling down her cheeks as her body began to sink down into the pyramid of corpses. I tried to hold on to her, to try and pull her up, but I couldn't hold on, and eventually, she sunk deep down into the pyramid of dead bodies.

"**Soon, you'll be all alone."**


End file.
